| Got some inspiration.... |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|12:24 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  high | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | The sound of my Voice | ] |
I recently had a huge block in my writting, nothing inspired me..
My eyes were opened wide after running into a few cheaters, heartbreakers, and down right decieving ass guys.
Don't Worry I don't mean Corey!! I love my Corey :) I just can't seem to put that "infatuated, obsessed, totally outrageously inlove" feeling to words.
So instead I am going to type a "song" in the making it's sort of came from my feelings on cheating and how i would react in the end.
.. Too bad noone that reads this knows Spanish.. HAHAHA!!
Ya no me pidas mas perdon
Ya se nos acabo la relacion
Por tu traicion; sientes rincor
Ya no me pidas Olvidar
de este dolor yo no puedo escapar
tenemos que terminar, no te voy a perdonar
Jugaste con mi corazon
no se porque; si no tienes la razon
Ya la pasion, se derumbo
Si yo nunca te mento
pero tu te aprovechastes de mi
no se como sentir; ahora que estoy sin ti
Tengo que decir Adios
Pida le perdon a dios
no quiero oir tu voz;
No sea embustero
ya tu sabes porque yo no te creo
Porque tanto nebuleo
Si tu sabes cuando minetes se pone feo
No creas que soy tan tonta
Cuantas veces estuvistes con la otra?
Es mas no me contestes, ya no me importa!
jamas te dejare jugar con mi corazon
Por eso tengo que ser fuerto y decir te......
............Adios........ |
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| Dumb Whore |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|12:14 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  artistic | ] |
You should stop all your fantasies of someone new,
he's not a toy to be used,
he's a living, breathing creature,
does he not feel the way you feel,
whether it be happiness, lust, love, or sorrow?
Does he not long for better days of tomorrow?
Stop pretending it's ok
You and your relationship are just plain fake
How can you sit there with your 4 yr claim to fame
your mind constantly wonders, you have no shame
you even tell him of the others
and expect him not to find new lovers
But he and the other guy are like brothers
How can woman be so evil
so cynical, so vain?
Have you taken a good look in the mirror?
yet to see what I see?
Maybe you should look again. |
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| No job |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|10:13 am] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | Christina Aguilera - Underappreciated | ] |
I didn't get the position at The Talking Phonebook, I think I'm just going to take a shitty part time position for now, until I decide to move the hell out of this area. Coreys friend from works gf works as a manager at family dollar, she said she'll hire me.. it's not at all what i want, but I'm bored!! I want to work already!!
Someone called my phone today said her name was Kristin, claims that she and Corey hooked up while I was working at Capital Management.. ugh w/e...
I'm soo tired of the bullshit!! |
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| Job interview |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|10:19 am] |
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I have an interview with The talking Phonebook for a colections position, not really what i wanted to do but hopefully this place will be better then Cap. Management. The girl said they start off at $10 an hour, so that's cool. I hope I get it!! if i do Corey and i plan on getting a loan for a car for me, then this summer he'll get a new car. I really need a car! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|07:28 pm] |
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I quit.. I couldn't go bk to that place... I just trully didn't like it. It was a huge inconvinience for me, i don't have a car so i have to rely on Corey to take me there, and during lunch hour i'm stuck, because there is nothing nearby, the cafeteria sucks, the environment sucks!! it's not worth working a job that you hate, especially when u hate it the first day, you know it all goes downhill from there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|04:15 pm] |
Fucking Miserable!!!
I hate my new job, I was getting tired of not having a job, but man does this place suck!! I knew I needed a job, and I was looking... Now I'm stuck with something I didn't want to do and hours I didn't want to work. W/e will me off my own back. I feel bad though because I feel like I'm not being true to myself. If I really absolutely hate this place so much just being there one day, how much worse is it going to be? The hours are bullshit, I work almost everyday, there is nothing nearby, nothing to do during break, and you get your break whenever they decide. It can be at anytime. It's only 30 mins even if u work more then 4 hours in a day, it's totally fucked!
I feel so sick today my whole body aches my throat hurts my stomach, I just feel like crap!! |
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| My 1st day at work |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|12:49 am] |
I already don't like my new job, it's stupid, and boring, and the hours suck! I couldn't find anything for awhile so w/e I guess it's ok.
the guys are here playing poker, it's cool, they're fun to hang out with. Sort of was hoping some of the girls would stop by, I get bored hanging with the boys sometimes. I am a tomboy but I still have a feminine side, a really feminine side. |
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| Something fun! |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|09:10 pm] |
So tomorrow is the fight!! I'm not too excited. I found a job, again not too excited. I'm kind of bored with things. My job is kind of sucky, it's second shift and I'll never see Corey. Whatever, we spend a hell of a lot of time together. It does sort of suck, but I've got to make some money. I'm deffinitly going to school sometime soon, as soon as I get my finances in tact.
Christmas is comming up soon I really want to buy Corey something really cool, but not just anything cool, a specific cool thing. Something that every guy wants this year. I don't really want anything this year, I just want some food, cuz it's gonna get cold and I'm too skinny. I've cut a bunch of people off of my Christmas list this year, I can't live like a millionare.
****Coreys Little Adventure****
Corey and I went to JoAnns Fabrics today to buy bright green felt; 2 yards of bright green felt. Then we went to Home Depot to buy a board to staple it on. We didn't find a board, so Corey decided to stable green felt to my kitchen table.... He's Nuts! |
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| Hair cut |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|08:24 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  chipper | ] |
I finally cut my hair!! I cut off 11 inches.. Donated 10.5 inches of hair to Locks of Love!! I feel really good about that, I like sharing my blessings.. God has blessed me with this thick long beautiful hair I should share it with peple who aren't as fortunate as I am. |
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| Karma |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|03:25 am] |
I truly believe in Karma.. I believe that everything you do in life will come back to you one way or another. Whether good or bad everything comes around. I've tried to be a good person; well naturally I'm a kind person and I am very sympathetic and gain satisfaction out of helping others. Although I don't volunteer for things like walks for M.S. or at a camp for kids with special needs, I have my own way of giving back to society.
This week I decided to cut off my beautiful long hair and donate it to locks of love. It will grow back in a few months, I'm not too worried about it. |
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| Poker Night!! |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|11:37 pm] |
Saturday Nights are now weekly Poker Night @ my house!! The guys have found a new hobby... I get pretty bored here, can't wait until I start working and go bk to school.
I applied for aid earlier this week, and i applied to two schools so far. I am excited to study Finance/Accounting!! I like finding new ways to make and save money.
I'm yet to find a job, but I'm bothering HSBC bank; I'm really trying to get a job there. I can't live off a bullshit job, I have expensive taste and needs. Not like money hungry or the gold digging type I just know I can do so much better then some bullshit $6.00 an hour job stocking shelves at some store i can't afford to shop in |
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| ARE YOU CHEATING?? |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|01:47 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  guilty | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | a little bit - Jessica simpson | ] |
I hate when my guy friends or cousins confide in me and tell me they are going to fuck some chick, especially when they have a gf.. I feel so guilty not telling the gf because I am someones gf and I wouldn't want them to cheat on me and someone who knows to hold it from me. it like eats at me..
Yesterday my cousin told me what he was about to do and I felt like shit, the worse part about it is that I saw his gf 2 minutes later. Omg the guilt was eating at me and I'm not even the one cheating.
This same thing was one of the reasons I couldn't talk to Natale S. for a long time, because I knew Wilson had cheated a few times. I couldn't look her in the face and lie.
I know I broke a few hearts but everyone that I hurt deserved it, they hurt me or were just the type of guy that does that thing. I couldn't imagine hurting Corey that way, or vice-versa. Anyone who's ever been cheated on understands where I'm coming from, the pain that it causes is so unbearable, I wouldn't even wish it on my worse enemy.
I just don't understand how people can cheat and not want to be cheated on!
I'm so inlove with Corey I couldn't imagine how torn i'd be if I found out he was cheating or ever cheated just as he probably could never imagine me doing that to him. I wake up crying from dreams of him cheating I can't imagine if it were real.
I just don't get it, if your with someone and you're telling them u love them shouldn't you give them the respect you demand? if you're tempted and feel you might do something, break it off for awhile, don't overlap people. It just causes alot of pain and confusion. You get yourself into awkward situations and eventually end up losing someone that might have meant alot to you,someone who could have been something more.
I'm sitting here writing this and crying, it's like I can feel the pain of those people who have been lied to and used... I would go nutz if Corey cheated on me, I would honestly rather take a break then to be with him when he is or wants to be with someone else.
Just as I will never again cheat on someone I will never knowingly be with someone who has somebody. Women just set themselves up for heartbreak, they say they want someone who won't cheat yet find someone who is involved and expect them not to do the same shit to them. How can you get mad that someone took your man if you took him from someone at some point.
There are plenty of single men/women out there stay away from the ones that are involved, because honstly if they didn't want anything to do with the person they are with "THEY WOULD HAVE LEFT Them!!!".
Don't think because you're sleeping with them they aren't sleeping with that other person, or with other people, it doesn't work that way.. if the person will cheat with you, there might be others. I hung out with guys my whole life and I've seen the good the bad and the ugly... I've seen all sides of it, and although there are few good people out there, they are out there. You just have to have a little faith, even if life throws your a curve ball you can't just stop trusting people you have to move on.
Girls don't feel discouraged there are guys out there that want to fall inlove, some may not be ready just yet, but they are out there. They just need to find the right girl. Guys I know girls can be evil but there are some out there that are hopeless romantics like myself and would trade their entire world as they know it to feel like they belong with someone, to find someone that won't hurt them, who they will never hurt.
If you love someone they become part of you, if you hurt them you're only hurting yourself. |
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| Inspiration |
[Nov. 3rd, 2005|11:02 am] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | Underappreciated - Christina Aguilera | ] |
Inspired by words that sit on a once blank peice of paper, I look at them as if the were sacred; a beautiful poem written just for me, inspired by love, life, pain and strife... I find myself staring into a mirror hating who I see yet loving everything about me, not physically but the me within me. I see the person you don't see the girl who never thinks of me, it's always you I think of.
etched in stone I see your name fades away as if you were fading out of place , this is not the place, not where you want to be not what he wants for me. Other plans have fallen like an avalanche; it's dropped on my head, like a bomb over baghdad.
it seems like comfort is our biggest problem, are you so comfortable to think I'll never leave? is taking me for granted part of your disease? I haven't grown that comfortable, I know everything must leave at some point in time, and I'm counting time afraid of what I'll someday find.
Feeling unappreciated I can't believe we didn't make it, I thought our love would stand the test of time.
I look forward and see no future not for you and especially not for me, I'm too afraid to look ahead because I fear someday this will all end. |
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| Lost |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|03:00 pm] |
I still haven't found a job, Nobody wants to hire me ugh!! :(
Corey and I are doing good, we're looking for a new apartment, hopefully it all works out.
Natale S. came bk around, we talk on the phon every now and then. She's a nice girl, we grew up together; spent so much time together i almost think of her as a sister.
This weekend is Halloween weekend, coreys friend phil asked if maybe we wanted to go to clifton hill.. hoepfully we'll have some cash flow!! |
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| only makes things worse |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|04:32 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | Lindsay Lohan - over | ] |
Every time I try to make a situation better I only make things worse. I don't intentionally do things I think I just do them in a really dumb-ass way. I really want to spend the rest of my life with Corey, so why do I always end up doing/saying something totally off the wall. Those of you who read my journal more then likely know about that guy Jesse I met online, and the problem he caused in the begining of mine and Coreys' relatinship. Well he just emailed me today saying some shit about I should call him or whatever, and i was going to reply and basically curse him out. I got distracted decorating the house with halloween stuff, and Corey came home to see the window with his email address and instead of telling him what happened. I lied and said my sis was on the comp emailing someone. I didn't lie because I was doing something wrong, I just know how much of a pain in the ass this guy is and how much he comes up... Well I didn't want to ruin our day by fighting. Well guess who is the worse liar in the world? ME!!! I don't know why I lied, I know I can't lie!!! I'm a terrible liar. So the truth comes out, and now it seems like I'm trying to cover something up. Corey doesn't trust me and/or what I do online, so this just turns into something it shouldn't have been. I think we're broken up now :'(
I should have done this a long ass time ago but I cancelled my email accounts
friskipandora@hotmail.com
christinecordero007@hotmail.com
all my other aim names are gone if I talk to you you know which one I use
Getting Tired of Playing How To Lose The Ex Boyfriends, I need to move out of the country!!! |
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| Bullshit!! |
[Jul. 17th, 2005|11:05 am] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | I just don't give a fuck- Eminem | ] |
You ever try to be a good friend and somehow things get turned around?
Friday night I text messaged my neighbor at 1am and told her "Hey Carrie you're kids are outside right now, you should be a little bit more careful leaving them home alone, you never know if one of the neighbors might call CPS" I put my phone down and went to sleep. I was trying to make her aware of the fact that her 8 and 6 yr olds were outside at a late hour.
I wake up about 4am to hear a message on my phone from her saying that I'm fucking corny that she thinks I was the one that called Child protection on her last month and that supposedly I was too afraid to open my door when she came by that night. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about I was only trying to give her the heads up, plus I watched her kids for her the day she said CPS was supposed to come.
The woman is 27 yrs old and I'd say 9 times out of 10 she's not with her kids, either working or just not home leaving the kids with girls 13 and 16 yrs old at all hours for hours on end. She claims she's grown but the only reason she thinks I caled CPS is because of hear say from her so called friend. I'm like HELLO? I took care of your kids when I didn't have to don't u think if I wanted to get CPS on you I would have sent your kids home the day they were looking for you and them? You claim to be a grown woman but you can't think for yourself, everyone does your thinking for you.
The so called friend Shirelle is 23 I think, she tells Carrie that i was talking shit about her and her kids bla bla bla.. I admit yes I did say that she acts funny and never invites me inside her house, and that I am concerned for her kids because she is rarely ever home. Leaves the kids with no phone to call her, like wtf is your problem what if something happens to them... Oh yea they come to me... Then again Shirelle can't talk she's said all that and more she's even gone as far to say "i hope they take Carrie's Kids and yet she has the nerve to mentione that I said a few things not like I care because I told her exactly what I've said about her. But how dare you come off as innocent when u talk the most shit about your "friend" then anyone and it's vice versa, Carrie talks shit about Shirelle just as much.
My POE feels like high school all over it's just drama bitches that think they are grown and still act like a bunch of 14 yr old dumb hood rats, i'm obviously beyond that drama, I tried being a friend she took it as she did our friendship is over. That doesn't mean I don't care about the kids anymore if they need something Ilive right next door but as for those two crazy women I'm done with them. I can't wait to get my CS position at HSBC so I can leave this drama behind. |
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| puzzle |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|09:55 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | Ringing On The Teli |
| | Dead | ] |
Soo.. it's been awhile. I never get on this really. I'm glad to see noone really notices :) My new job is working out good i make about 3 to 4 hundo a week. I'm starting to buy new stuff for my house, it's just hard to find stuff i actually like. me and Corey are ok i guess but i highly doubt this shit will last long. shit's just fishy and it's starting to rot. Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.
I don't know but my life just seems like one big fat soap opera I got all the perks to make a good soap, love honor and betrayal haha.. and whatever the hell more there is to those things I bet I've got a story..
I'm pretty popular at work already it sucks cuz alot of the guys out there like me and it sort of gets on my nerves. I'm like no I have a boyfriend , no i'm taken, no i don't like you, no i'm not interested.... My one manager has a crush on me it's somewhat annoying too, I'm all like HELLO YOU'RE MY MANAGER MANAGE ME DAMMIT STOP FLIRTING!!
I'm just so hot lmfao god don't i wish ***
Everyone keeps saying i look skinny but I still feel like I'm a fatty patty... i need to lose another 10 lbs or so I want to be skinny and soon!
I don't even know what to type, I'd like to vent but i don't want my life all out there so until next time america FUCK YOU!! |
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| Fuck You!! |
[Feb. 11th, 2005|11:19 am] |
For those people who don't usually talk to me and yet have the nerve to call me and ask for some cash, Fuck you!! Fuck all the fake ass people who pretend to be your friend only when something is wanted. Fuck all those fake friends who are always "too busy" to hang out. You can say i'm jaded but I'm tired of being used, I'm nothing but nice to people and they just walk all over me.
I'm looking for a house far away from everything and everyone, I'll only stay intouch with important people, people who actually call me. In another year and a half Corey will be going to Albany for a corrections officer job and I'm leaving with him. :) Those of you who care any my new home number is 825-1114.
I can't wait to leave b-lo and finally be happy!! |
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| broken heart |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|02:54 pm] |
| [ | Are You High? |
| |  pissed off | ] |
I'm not getting a cat at all fuck it! Corey doesn't understand how much I hate being alone at home so he says I can wait to get a cat. he says "think of it like it's less time you'll have to be cleaning up after it". Hello??!!?? do I care about cleaning up after it? I clean up after your lazy ass all the time, I'm used to it. Jessus Fucking Christ what does he expect me to be bored and by myself all the time, especially in this fucking house that I hate! He doesn't understand, he tells me it's not that serious but to me it is I don't want to be home alone and bored, I want a pet of my own, he's getting his expensive ass fish tank and fish not because he needs it just because he wants it. Oh and who's gonna be cleaning it let me guess..... Me!! It's not fucking fair!! I want my kitty :'( |
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friskipandora's journal